Sunday, May 29, 2016

Not Superman

If there's anything I'm learning the older I get is that words and actions have consequences. And the greatest insult a person could give to me would be that through words and actions I'm trying to be someone I am not.

Friday, December 25, 2015

The Meander in the Origin of Visual Art

Coelacanth — see-lə-kanth

In order for a behaviour to persist (become an established universal behavior), it must provide a significant advantage or utility that results from using it.

The very earliest remnants of humans making any form of permanent visual impressions appears to be in the making of seemingly random linear tailings. They Are thought to be the earliest markings hominids made that can be considered an expression of, for intention of, art.

The meander, on the basis of art, is intricately entwined with time perception. Meander, as a verb — as in the act of drawing, accordingly will elicit thoughts of future events previously held only in the subconscious. A mindless searching beyond the horizon of the present.
*Precognition Precognition (from the Latin præ-, "before" and cognitio, "acquiring knowledge"), also called future sight, and second sight, is an alleged psychic ability to see events in the future.

Friday, May 8, 2015


Victoria 5-2-15 Life Drawing • 8.5 x 12.5 inches

“Oppressive” in a word, describes the pain I've been feeling for several months. The pleasure of existence simply eludes me. Life is not easy!

Becca 3-21-15 Life Drawing • 9.75 x 6.25 inches
Steve 3-28-15 Life Drawing • 9 x 6.5 inches

Last drawings before spring break.


Even though they are completely oblivious to this, people have all these little recordings that play through their mind on some sort of insane loop. The little ideas tell them how to behave, what decisions to make, their attitudes about things–people. They just fly around and around in their heads like some annoying bees that just can't leave them alone.
Oh, how we get ourselves in trouble!

Monday, March 9, 2015

Writing this as a hologram inside a hologram

Becca 2-21-15a Life Drawing 13.5 x 9 inches
A number of current models of the universe depict it as being a hologram projected from a two dimensional brane (actually a two dimensional brane existing in a higher three dimensional universe). Similarly, the mind as an entity almost certainly exist as a hologram. My question is if all holograms that exist are essentially the same phenomenon, then what is it that links the universe's hologram with our mind's?
Then again, hologram may be as varied as snowflakes; in which case it might seem a bit futile to draw meaningful cross references. But for the sake of the experiment, let us assume meaningful analogies or metaphors are possible.

Sara 3-7-15 Life Drawing 13 x 10 inches
So, with all existence a conglomeration of holograms, it would appear we live in a house of mirrors. The world we are experiencing can only be interpreted by our internalized hologram (mind) reflecting on the external hologram — which is the universe.
On the one hand, the universe's hologram is manifest as matter and energy — all those objects and processes that characterize the content of the universe (this includes dark matter and energy etc., ad infinitum). And than on the other hand, how we experience these entities as objects we can feel, see, hear; all of our receptors.
The specific nature of our perception being coloured by everything unique to an individual. The universe's hologram impinges upon our internal hologram and the convergence of these these two wave fronts is our experience of reality, our awareness.
A Drawing
To me, painting and printing can be a social type thing. I can and do speak with people while engaging in these activities. But drawing from life is very different. I insist on isolating myself from others and strive to shut out any distractions. What is this thing I create on paper - a brane? Am I not creating a hologram?
Here's the deal; information loss is forbidden by quantum mechanics. All my dreams, pains, desires, etc., are inseparable from my internal hologram and that is what's creating this drawing. The hologram of the drawing, inescapably, is a piece cut from the fabric of my existence.
The Black Whole at the Beginning of Time, Scientific American, August 2014
Information in the Holographic Universe, Scientific American, August 2003

Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Inward Significance

Becca, Life Drawing • Saturday, 2/21/2015  

I think I'm done with trying to achieve an accurate "photo" shot of a model. When we get too hung up on doing that, the focus of what we really are trying to obtain is lost.

The aim of art is to represent not the outward appearance of things, but their inward significance.
 -  Aristotle

There are so many dimensions to explore, not least of which is that communication with the model.
And then, there is that strange effect that we introduce with subtle characterizations of hatch, shade, and line; of contour and vanishing than reappearing details/boundaries.

Monday, December 15, 2014

2015, a year for achieving what we're passionate about

Steve, Life Drawing • Saturday, 12/15/2014

This is the last life drawing of 2014. This has been a year of endless distractions and loss of focus. It's time to clear off the slate and prepare for the new year. I hope 2015 is better. I think it's time for an actual implementation of screen printing plans and perhaps trying some different mediums.

In a dream, my brother Pete mentions to me the "elite diet", a diet which allows people to attain maximum health, remarkable health. I know a lot about this diet; it resemble the so called paleo-diet with science added. That is a discipline I need to follow as much as possible.

Tuesday, October 7, 2014

Coffee, Diazepam, & Chocolate

Becca, Life Drawing • Oct. 4, 2014. 11.5 x 10.5 inches

Today the coffee machine was out of service and I was having the hardest time focusing! In desperation I selected a Reese's Bar from the candy machine. Obviously, I still rely on caffeine to draw, at least from a model. An hour later I purchased a Kit Kat bar to keep me going.

I'm doing two big things right now. I'm eliminating coffee (caffeine) and tapering off of diazepam (Valium). So far I've switched to green tea, two to three cups a day, and cut back on diazepam to 6.25mg a day (quarter 5mg tab in morning, half tab in afternoon and half in evening). Coffee wasn't very difficult to cut out. Green tea has about a quarter the caffeine as coffee so it's small concern.
Diazepam is a different story. Withdrawal needs to be very slow to avoid some real nasty symptoms. I'll be cutting back by a quarter tab (1.25mg) every two to three weeks; only after I know I've fully adjusted to the lower level. This is NOT something you go cold turkey on. I've been taking it for two reasons; for anxiety and for muscle spasms. It seems hard to differentiate the two because their so interrelated — like opposite sides of the same coin. They feed each other; more anxiety causes more muscle spasms and vice versa. Any cutting back will cause an increase of the two. The trick is riding out what I can tolerate until I reach some reasonable level of comfort.

But the real kicker was this: "There's already strong research evidence that frequent or regular benzodiazepines use degrades memory and mental performance in humans and animals. And some research suggests that with regular use of this class of drugs, the receptors to which they bind in the brain become less active. And lower activity of those receptors has been linked to cognitive decline."

I feel a bit uncomfortable disclosing this, but the diazepam use started after a pretty traumatic hospital stay and the muscle spasms started after undergoing a thoracotomy (large incision through the rib cage) that damages/destroys a lot of nerves and that causes the muscles along my side to almost constant cramping. By quitting diazepam I'm more or less learning to live with the knotted muscles and heightened anxiousness. A ray of hope: The anxiousness can be channelled into focused involvement, a useful activity — such as art!